Sunday, February 27, 2011

They Just Come Right Back

I stand in the bathroom, staring into the mirror, staring and feeling, well, I'm not quite sure what I'm feeling. Bothered? Resigned? Ambivalent? Annoyed?  

They're wiry and stubborn.  They catch the light, and not in a shiny, healthy, herbal essency sort of way either. 

I used to spend hours eliminating them.  

But, they just come right back and more all the time.  More.  All the time.  

Gray and mocking and a constant reminder that time marches on.  And, really, they're not even gray.  More translucent.  Colorless.  At least gray would be something.  But, they're not gray.  

Plucking is pointless.  I can't keep up.  I can't even see them all, you know, because they're colorless.  I tilt my head so the light hits it differently and look for the inevitable glint or rather glints.  I am increasingly blinded by their gleam.  

So now I wonder, is it time to dye?  
To dye or not to dye, that is the question.  

By my age, my mother was already salt and pepper.  She dyed her hair a few times, but then just decided to accept the inevitability of her fate.  Gracefully, of course, as she does everything.  I'm not there yet, salt and pepper or graceful, but I know I will be, salt and pepper, that is.  The graceful part is a work in progress.  

But, the change is coming and sooner than I'd like.  

Now she's silver, and lovely, but also 60.  60 and silver makes sense.  

I have good hair.  It's thick and naturally curly, well, more like wavy.  But, it holds curl and can be straightened too.  And, it has always been wasted on me.  I never "do" it.  I invest in a new round of headbands and barrettes and ouchless, pony-tail holders every few months so I can pull it up and back and out of my way.  I chop it off when I feel anxious and need a change.  I have dyed it once and put highlights in fewer than 5 times.  I don't have a go to style or stylist.  I know, a waste.

Genetics notwithstanding, I can't help but wonder if this is punishment for squandering my gift.  Maybe I can make restitution some other way? 

Because, I'm not ready to be gray, not yet.


Maybe, I'll go blonde?


Anonymous said...

The ad that displays for me with this post? "Wholesale Wigs 80% off"

That's _one_ alternative to gray hair.

Anonymous said...

The ad that shows with this post?
"Wholesale Wigs 80% off"

That's _one_ alternative to gray hair.

Coco Recommends said...

I get it...... oh do I get it. The last two years I've started to see elusive white (gray) hairs pop in. Usually when I'm driving in the sun and they reflect when I'm looking into my rear-view mirror. I confess I still pull them out if I can... and I am coloring my hair.... but oh, that 1st gray hair was kind of devastating. :)

Cecily said...

You think I'm a natural blonde these days? I've decided there are worse nicknames than "Tinkerbell".

jesse said...

Mom had streaks of white much earlier than you age; her hair has always been lovely to me. Ask Kenny--I bet his answer will not be what you are contemplating. Dad

OnCallMom said...

I totally hear you on this one! Mine showed up as a cluster on my right temple during my second pregnancy. Argh! Unless I've been diligently about keeping them plucked out, I can't really pull my hair back. Well, I can, but you know... I'm just crossing your fingers that it stays in one spot for a while. I'll probably got the 'dye' route when it is time, but oh the maintenance makes me cringe. Oh the joys of being a woman!

Rachel Cotterill said...

I have a friend who's completely grey in his 20s. You could do worse ;)

Lauren in GA said...

I keep trying to pluck all of mine...and I's impossible to keep up.

Your dad is sweet. I love how he said your mom's hair has always been lovely to him.

K. Crisler said...

I am having the same problem and i'm only 26. Its depressing. It was getting to expensive to have it colored at the salon so I found someone to buy the professional color for me (five bucks) and Lyman colors it... Bet you didn't know that about your brother? Just another reason Lyman is perfect for me.

Jessica said...

I'm REALLY having a hard time with all things related to aging. Which makes me feel vain and lame, but there it is.

The Songer said...

This post is too familiar to me which made me laugh all the way through! You are an amazing writer!

Ive actually been contemplating that same question.. the dye one... but havent been brave enough yet...

Great pic!

Robin said...


I've been doing it for years. At first I did it at home but now I go to the salon because I really like my stylist and I have an easier budget.



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