Wednesday, December 05, 2007

H is for Ham

I am married to a die-hard, loves to quote, watches every episode, owns 8 seasons on DVD and will be acquiring the movie the second it is released "Simpsons" fan. My family was not allowed to watch "The Simpsons" when it first aired in, wait for it, December 1989!!! So I never caught the fan bug, and still haven't really, but since marrying Kenny have certainly seen more than a few minutes of several episodes. One of my favorite "Simpsons" moments goes as follows:

The scene: Lisa (middle child and only family member with a semblance of a social conscience) is becoming a vegetarian in protest of something or other. Homer (the father and devoted carnivore) is more than a little taken aback.

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Though I am loathe to admit it, I have to agree with Homer on this one, the pig really is a truly wonderful, magical animal. I like pork chops, a lot, and bacon, come on, and then, there's ham. Doesn't matter if it's honey baked, brown sugar glazed, maple cured, apple wood smoked - I love it. I especially love ham at Christmas - there is something so festive and lovely about sitting down to a dinner surrounded by friends and family with a gorgeous, steaming ham in the center of the table. Really, who needs traditional centerpieces when you could just go with this?

With our Christmas dinner just days away (remember, we are celebrating early), I sat down yesterday and decided on a menu: Ham (of course), sweet potato casserole (made with brown and white sugar and about the best thing I have ever seen done to/with sweet potatoes), green bean casserole (because we have french fried onions we didn't use for Thanksgiving), dessert (still deciding on this), rolls (for leftover ham sandwiches) and maybe something not cooked or fried or dripping in fat...maybe. Then, Caleb and I headed for our local grocery store to do some shopping. As usual, never more than when we are looking for traditional America foods is it painfully obvious we are not in Kansas (or any of the other 49) anymore. But, the guy at the meat counter was very patient and very helpful and after trying EVERY single available option we settled on something that is called Smoked Virginia Ham but can't possibly be. I will dress it up and put it on a lovely platter and it will work and I'm sure Christmas dinner will be all we could have hoped at this point in our lives where managing expectations has become the norm. If anything, my love for ham will only been heightened as a result.

Helpful meat counter guy - do not be fooled by the "hams" in the background,
they are really just bologna in very convincing ham clothing


Anne said...


you know you are pregnant when 5 of your last 6 entries include some allusion to food, or are entirely about food, primarily dessert! seriously, you are making me hungry! and jealous that you can actually get ham where you are ... sigh. not so much pork where we're at. might be one of my first, or at least 15th stop once we go back to the states... thanks for commenting on our blog so i could find your blog! it is great to read about some of your adventures - even if they make me hungry!

Jake said...

I love ham too. Aren't you glad we don't have to keep kosher?!

Anonymous said...

Chris is also obsessed with Simpson's, we even have a room dedicated to Simpsons (pathetic I know but it is Drakes room..). I recently purchased Simpsons cookie cutters this year so that we can make ornaments. (they are the same brand that we made ornaments with as children). I will make you some ornaments and perhaps Kenny can paint them. (that is if you want Homer on your tree).

Adrianne said...

yeah, I do'nt get the simpsons either, but I do get ham. I suggested iham to Mario for our ward party and he said not everybody eats ham. what?? we're mormon not jewish!

robin marie said...

i love crispy crunchy lovely bacon!!! and let's not forget the time katharine seay decided to be a vegetarian with the exception of bacon! ha ha ha ha ha!!

on a side note, if we lived by each other christian and kenny could drool over the simpsons! many he loves that show too. they made some simpons kwik-i-mart here in seattle... it's on christian's blog if kenny wants to check it out!

and i was watching the simpsons in december 89 on the tracey ulman show... we'd beg our parents to stay up.

Ilene said...

Stomach growling...

LOVE ham for Christmas. Dan's family does turkey- blech. I do ham or pork tenderloin with yummy potatoes gratin. Your sweet potato recipe sounds familiar, it must kick you-know-what. Does it call for a pecan topping?

Enjoy your Peruvian interpretation of a Christmas meal!

Celia Fae said...

See, now I have some ham in my fridge right now and I am going to have get my butt up and sneak a piece while I finish reading blogs. Thanks for the suggestion.

We watch the simpsons together as a family. Sometimes we have to skip over stuff.

Nortorious said...

Paige loves ham. You should send her some Ham. Ham Ham Ham.

Jessica said...

ALWAYS love the "Live in S. America" segments.


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